Finding Happiness

Welcome to my very first blog. Considering I'm new to this world, I really hope you would pardon my mistakes. This will be a series of such blogs as we try to figure some of the essential truths of life. I hope you enjoy this journey. 

Let's see what is this thing called as happiness is all about. I can tell you one thing for certain that each and everyone of us including me and you are after this feeling. So we work day and night, stressing ourselves, trying to find this emotion. In fact so much so that we end up dedicating our entire life for this cause. You might say-'No that's not right not all of us are running behind happiness. Everyone has their own needs'. To answer that question let me explain it to you this way. Sure people have different desires and ambitions but tell me something what is it are you trying to accomplish by fulfilling them? Got the answer? Yes that's what I am trying to say.

You may have your own way sorted out to get to this state of being. For example, getting a car or a house, a job, a soulmate or a friend or perhaps a settled life for you and your loved ones. My question to you is will you be happy after you achieve what you want. Naturally the answer would be yes I assume.  Close your eyes and imagine for a second that what you wished for or worked so hard for has come to pass, you finally got what you had aimed, tell me something how are you feeling? Satisfied? Joyful? Happy maybe? Lets get in the mood to celebrate, so you plan this amazing party and call each one of your loved ones. People come and congratulate and feel proud of you for achieving it. After the party is finished all go back to their homes then what? Life would go back to normal, in fact you might have ended up carrying more responsibilities on your shoulders now. Most of you might have already planned out what next big thing you would want. 

So technically you were happy for maybe two or three days and then you are back again to chasing this feeling once again.  Is happiness then short lived? Or maybe is it that what you thought would bring you happiness didn't meet your expectations. My conclusion, achieving something or being successful does not bring permanent happiness. Most of all, Is there something called as permanent happiness exists and is that what we are truly after ?   

Let's imagine another scenario for those people who think being/finding my loved one will bring true happiness.  Imagine you do find a person, your soulmate or twin flame (Pretty cool name, right? ) someone who truly understands you, who you can trust blindly, who treasures you for who you are. Sounds amazing isn't it. Well, you two get married and have children and reach your old age walking hand in hand, considering you manage to get past all the bumps in the road i.e. arguments, misfortunes and misunderstandings. There will come a day when death will knock at one of your doors. The person with whom you planned to live your entire life has passed away leaving you all alone once again. So you collect yourself once again and start rediscovering life without their presence and thus start chasing again for this so-called happiness. Conclusion, happiness does not lie in the hands of your loved ones either. Here we are back to square one. 

And also for the people who seek happiness in pleasure that is drugs, sex, alcohol consumption, cigarettes, etc. Answer this, What happens after you are done consuming these stuff? Left with the desire to do it once more. In fact let me tell you this kind of happiness is the most short lived. It does more harm than good.

Does this means no matter what you do or with whom you are, happiness will always be two feet apart? Or does it mean happiness is not a constant but rather a discrete (discontinuous) variable (for all the science/math lovers ;) ). The thing is you are trying to find happiness in the outside world and whatever exists in that world is not permanent. The real happiness lies within you and if you do find that inside of you trust me my friend you have found your permanent happiness. What's that? You ask ,'how will I find it inside of me?'.

Hmm, let's see, why do you feel happy after achieving something? Is it because of all the praise you get by others or is it because you have one less thing to worry about? or is it about the results ? or is it the fact that you feel good when you complete something on your own terms, with your hard work? I am sure you must've picked one or the other reason by now.  Do you see something common in them, yes they all are linked to the results. These reasons are also what you get from outside. So none of them would take you closer to happiness. Wise men say, if you have found the cause of a problem then you should uproot it. If you take away the results then what left is nothing but your efforts. Have you ever considered doing a work just because you love to do it or just because you have the passion for it something you can find inside of you, I mean think about it, you will be taking up that task just because you enjoy or feel truly happy when you immerse yourself in it. Apply it everyday in your life and who knows you might actually get one step closer to happiness. 

Now coming to the loving someone category, why do you love that person? Is it because of the way they treat you? support you? encourage you? whichever reason you choose it will mainly be based on what you gain from them isn't it? Tell me something have you ever gazed upon stars, the moon or viewed a beautiful scenery and felt truly at peace and be amazed by it. Did you expect the stars or the moon to like you back ? You were happy just by seeing it. You appreciated the beauty in all its glory. Why not do the same with your loved ones? Instead focusing on what you are taking from them, focus on what you are giving them and you'll see your happiness being dependent on your actions and not on someone else.

In simple words the key to attain true happiness is to stop focusing on things that you don't have and start focusing on what you do have. Happiness does not exist in the past nor does it lie in your future, it is right here in this moment. If you keep chasing then you might never catch it instead sit still and let it come to you. With that I conclude, "The ticket to your happiness is in your hands. Make the most out of it".          

-By Radha